Transcription:
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This is lead 12 12. A podcast on christ centered leadership based on romans.
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12 12, rejoice in hope, be patient tribulation, be constant in prayer.
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Thanks for listening.
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-- Here's Dave and chris, Hey
-- Everybody, you're listening to lead 12, 12.
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Very excited. I'm gonna let Chris introduce our guests for you today.
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I am very excited to introduce a legend and mm
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a very talented coach and all around great guy,
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a Masonic brother and someone I like to call friend Pat Miletich.
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Just with us folks, Pat, thanks for joining.
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-- We're glad to have you
-- Absolutely
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bars on my phone
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-- at a grocery store. There you go. Well,
-- fantastic.
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-- So let me ask you, Pat, what really motivates
-- you.
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Oh, you know,
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there's a lot of things I think that motivate me to be honest with you chris,
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I mean gravity motivates me to be honest with you getting out of bed Lovett,
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fighting gravity.
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-- You go love it,
-- Trying to win that battle every day, number one.
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So it starts right away.
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But you know, my kids motivate me. My kids inspire me
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the,
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trying to
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I've just always had this
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gravitational
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all towards
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push whatever you wanna call it towards wanting to do something
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to help people, something of significance, whatever I can do and
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in life before before this thing's over and you know, it's, it's uh
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always trying to reach for the stars. There's a lot of strikeouts,
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you know, there's a lot of disappointment.
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I've always kind of been a home run hitter and I've struck out so many times.
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It's incredible. So
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you know, there it is what it is, but that's a great way to put that away.
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That's really good.
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That is a great way to put Bayberry struck out more than he hit home runs,
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but he had a lot of home runs.
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So there you go.
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Um as a mentor and coach Pat,
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how do you give criticism to someone
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without discouraging him without putting them down?
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Trying to lift him up but still telling them they're wrong.
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Uh same thing with kids. You know, when when uh
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you don't want to just say no, that's not how you do that.
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You know, it's it's you know what I can appreciate your effort.
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You're doing, you're doing this right, you're doing this right.
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But here let's try to work on this part.
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You know, stuff like that. You know, always try and say
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the part that they're doing right
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unless it's a kid that's about to stick their hand in the fire.
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Um you know, anything short of that,
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tell them what they're doing right.
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You know like or you can even I guess approach it like look I get it,
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your hands are cold but you probably don't want to do that.
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-- There you go. I
-- got six kids. So that makes a lot of sense. I appreciate that
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-- we
-- have, you know,
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-- I've got three girls that's all I needed.
-- There you go.
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We adopted all ours but I got three girls and three boys. So we're the brady bunch.
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So thank you sir. Thank you. So let me follow up on that as a coach.
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-- What's the best way to call out? Continual sloppy
-- work.
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Um,
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put them with really good people that will either
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make them better or they're going to quit.
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That's good.
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If people, if people just don't,
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I guess I said, I didn't even remember that. I said it, but one of my,
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one of my affiliate schools,
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Sandy Bowman from Canada
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painted on the wall in his gym.
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That said,
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we show how much about yourself by the work ethic that you put in. It was the cloak.
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And I didn't remember saying that, but
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sounds like something I'd say when I was,
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you know, maybe chewing somebody for. And I,
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I remember, I didn't remember saying this until my,
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one of my fighters reminded me of this.
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Well as well,
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Mike says in 11, she's got a very successful gym in Colorado Springs.
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He fought in new york C and I fl and
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amazing black belt in Brazilian jiu just who was also
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was a wrestler on the out east for a university out east
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and uh,
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he was complaining one day and I didn't
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remember saying this to anybody laughs about it.
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Still he will talk about it every time I see.
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And uh, I had been pouring concrete for four or five years
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and then bartending and bouncing at night while I was training for fights,
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I'd find a couple hours in between jobs
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to go to the gym and train and then once I got a little better,
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I could put one job and then I got better and put another job.
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I was making more money fighting.
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Then I eventually be able,
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I was able to quit pouring concrete as well
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because that was my main income at the time.
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He was complaining one day about being fatigued or whatever it was,
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and I said, hey man, you can go for concrete if you want, you can leave right now,
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-- go out there and go out there for concrete and see how you like that. That's
-- not easy.
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It's not,
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I will say one thing about pouring concrete because we were
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doing a lot of flat work and a lot of highways.
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So a lot of those giant steel highway forms
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and
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you know, running jackhammers and sledgehammers?
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So you get strong, I mean, you're just gonna get strong,
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throwing people around pretty easy when you're,
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when you're training for fights doing concrete all day here,
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-- pretty capable of throwing stuff around,
-- Love it.
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I'm just gonna make sure that I'm your friend, both of you guys scare me a little bit.
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That's all right.
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So, next question, is it important to make someone feel appreciated and if so,
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how do you go about doing that?
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How do you, how does that work for you?
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You know, nobody's perfect at that.
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And I've I've struck out numerous times in
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terms of making people feel appreciated and stuff.
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I think I've gotten more in tune with that sort of thing.
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Um as the years have gone by as I've gotten older
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as I'm sure it does with a lot of people,
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but just
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um you know, I
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I listened to a guy give us,
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he was giving a speech
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and he had
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met up with somebody he hadn't seen in years, they had lunch
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and got back in his car afterward.
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Um they shook hands, you know, all that sort of stuff, said goodbye
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and uh we got this car and he said,
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you know, I should have told that person that I love him and that I appreciate it
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and speed went and got a card
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at the store and he wrote everything in it and sent it to that person
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and
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he said he was in a down moment
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like a week later
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and right when he was feeling a little a
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little depressed about some stuff that was going on,
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he got a text message that they had received the
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card that they loved him and stuff like that.
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So it's just about
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I think just trying to remember them too,
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especially right now in history,
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so many people are going through so many tough times, financially, you know,
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addiction, domestic abuse,
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uh suicides, sickness.
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Um you know, so many things that people are going through right now and uh
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I can't think of a more important time in history.
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-- Just let people know you care about them. You know. Gosh,
-- that's so true.
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Hey man, my mentor always said, people don't care how much, you know,
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do they know how much you care?
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And I think that's a pretty important thing that you
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show that you and then you go about that.
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-- So
-- yeah, like that.
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-- Thank
-- you. That's good stuff. Thank you, Pat.
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I'm gonna ask you a tough one.
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Do you have a most important nuts and bolts lesson?
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You can give just something that's about leadership.
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That's just quick for everyone.
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You know, don't read your own press man, don't listen to tell you how great you are,
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right?
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That is good.
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You know, the the the ego can get involved really,
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really fast and I mean I learned lessons and coaching, you know, I don't,
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I help people help you, but I do mostly law enforcement
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training now and I'll help local fighters out a little bit and fix some of the
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some of the problems with their, with their game and stuff like that.
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But for the most part,
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um, you know, you go on a run. Our team
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would go on a run and just destroy everybody from
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months and months and months and months
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and then out of the blue, you know, you take an unexpected hit.
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You know, somebody, somebody gets taken out
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sort of thing.
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And so it's just and that that was something that I always in the back of my mind,
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you know, you don't want to fear it
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because you sometimes you can make that stuff come true, you know, don't,
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you know, you tell a kid,
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um, you know, don't drop that glass of water, don't drop that glass of water.
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Don't well there it goes because you program
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their brain every time that something is just,
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you know, just just try and
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just try and be ready for the bad times.
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You know, because you know, people,
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people underneath your tutelage can screw things up.
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They can cause your problems. You know what you did happen when I was coaching,
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um, that sort of thing. You know, it's just, you know, and we all make,
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we all make mistakes. I've made, I've made plenty of mistakes over the past.
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We all have five years.
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-- We all have a
-- pet for our,
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our people that listening that may not know how
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many world champions have you trained in the UFC?
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I think there were 12.
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I mean we had about 90, I think it was right around 95 televised athletes
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and 12 World Champions and two team
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two team world titles in
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the International Fight League as well.
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-- Absolutely amazing.
-- It really is.
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It has a lot to do with, you know, I read every day and gable book,
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I watched a lot of Iowa wrestling when I was a little kid.
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I was in the field house with my big brother take me to Iowa wrestling meets
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and I would watch back in the day when randy Lewis and
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king Mueller and the panic brothers and all those guys were wrestling.
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Um,
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all through those years and I just went to and
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I were wrestling meet a couple of weeks ago actually,
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I was lucky enough to go.
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Um, and I just,
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in my fighting in my fight training,
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I emulated everything that gable did endurance wise.
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Um, just to do things that nobody else
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I wanted to do. Sure I had to do endurance things that
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I was thinking in my head, there's no way somebody is crazy enough to do,
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they're just not gonna do it.
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It's not, there's no way. And so I always told myself I would make my training
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far harder than any fight could ever be.
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No matter how bad that fight got that I had been much,
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much worse in my training and so that's really was
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that, that made a huge difference.
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Was just emulating the way dan gable did things, constant pressure.
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Um, no excuses back then at all. Um,
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you know, we fought with injuries, we did whatever we had to, we didn't,
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we didn't duck fights, nothing that, you know, we just did what we had to do.
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Absolutely.
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So are you in Iowa hockey fan just checking out and make sure
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you know what's funny is I posted on my facebook the other night last night.
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As a matter of fact I think it was
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no,
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Was it Saturday night Iowa played Michigan for
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the Big 10 championship in football right?
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Yeah, I watched it.
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Yeah and so michigan trounced them.
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Uh they did, I was tending to going into that game,
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you know, at the beginning of its every football season,
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I'll just tell you that every football season Iowa,
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you know they get by a squeak by Iowa state and they beat you know western Illinois and
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some other team and all of a sudden this year I was ranked third in the country,
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fourth in the country or whatever, fifth and uh
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everybody is posting on facebook. Oh my God we're gonna, this is the year man
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go, it's a little early in the season to be getting excited guys. You know.
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Uh I always say every year I go, thank God that's wrestling season coming up.
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You know, you guys are playing in the bowl game this year, don't you?
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-- Who are we playing in the Ballgame Kentucky.
-- Yes sir. Yeah.
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Citrusy bow.
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That should be a hell of a football game considering our state's
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really good at wrestling in your state's really good at basketball.
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That's it. There you go
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and Kentucky does great.
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-- We're
-- getting better stoops who is a hot guy.
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He's done a great job, getting our team in the right place. So anyway I digress.
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Let's go back to everything. What is your main goal in coaching and mentoring.
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Hopefully, uh, hopefully improve the quality of somebody's life and give them,
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give them some, some experiences that help them get through life.
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You know, the absolutely, I think, you know,
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there's a saying that dan gable said that was, you know,
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everything after wrestling in life, everything in life after wrestling is easy
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and it really is really is comparatively.
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For the most part, everything is pretty easy minus
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deaths of loved ones and things like that.
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But when it comes to work ethic and just getting stuff done.
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Um, so, but yeah, I mean, improve people's quality of life,
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give them great memories.
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Um, you know, that, that's the sort of thing, really kind of wanted to do very good.
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Here's one that's going to happen to every
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leader and it's going to happen many times.
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What do you do with one team member that
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just has bad chemistry with the rest of the team
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generally,
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the team will take care of that when it's a fighting team in training there.
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I had a few people that were,
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that were good, but they were a problem. One guy, he was,
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he was from
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brazil
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and
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we had gotten word that he was beating his wife and uh, so he had moved,
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he had moved to better from brazil and
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I got word from the police that he was beating his wife and stuff like that.
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So I talked to some of the guys and just said, you know what's
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let's um
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even the score a little bit for his wife you
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know and so he took some pretty severe beatings and
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and left the area.
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-- Have I told you I'm scared of you yet?
-- I think you have any reason.
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-- Well
-- I'm rethinking telling you that whole Kentucky thing man.
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I'll tell you. Did I ever tell you the story
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about
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my my
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concrete
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uh he was actually kind of my boss but he was a finisher.
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I was a laborer at the time and this was many,
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many years ago obviously and I had grown up wrestling had done
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some boxing and stuff and he was a black belt in karate
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and you had that had that southern draw And and he said he's
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we we this is before long before the UFC of course
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-- back in the P. K. C. Kickboxing remember
-- those days? Very well.
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Yeah and he says to me out of the blue,
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I can't remember how we got into conversations across the man destroy wrestling.
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Well apparently you haven't had an Iowa wrestler grab ahold of.
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Well he goes at lunch time,
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we go out there in that field right there and we can get it on.
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We can we can see what happens. And he goes,
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you know let's do you are you sure you really want to do that?
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And I was like yeah let's do it. So I just went out I didn't hurt him or anything.
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I just took him down really fast and tied him up in knots,
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kind of hold on his ears a little bit and stuff and they realized,
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and so he gave me a free week pass to go to his kickboxing, jump brody jim,
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and that's how that's how I started into the martial arts, wow, I didn't know that,
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I was about, I think I was 19 or 40th time, wow,
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that's amazing. Yeah,
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Kentucky, Kentucky can take credit for
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that.
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-- Thank
-- you. Knew we had a hand in there
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somewhere.
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-- So
-- here's always the phone,
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how do you admit there's a problem and then how
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do you fix it in in leadership and coaching mentoring?
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You know, when, you know there's a problem, how do you how do you admit that?
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How do you go about that?
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You know, that's a tough thing for a coach to do, Right, I mean,
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I can just tell you that,
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you know,
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um
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you know, I've had talks with athletes over numerous
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subject matter with coaching. I've had talks with other coaches when, when,
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you know, my kids, there was some real serious issues with my kids swimming
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a couple years back and they had since fixed it and my daughter went,
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my middle daughter went back out for swimming and
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had a great season with them and they did,
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they did a great job coaching and it was a very tense uh several
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meetings with them and the principal of the school and stuff like that.
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You just,
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I guess you've just got to be able to
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take criticism if you're not doing something right,
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you gotta be adult enough to accept criticism and
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you've got to be able to decipher what somebody,
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Sandia, whether it's valid, whether it's not,
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you know, for me,
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um, in training fighters,
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it was always common sense to make sure that they were obviously well rounded.
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I knew where their weaknesses were. They knew where their weaknesses were.
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You've got to be able to read personalities.
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Some people need to be yelled at, some people need to need that,
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need a hug once in a while, you know, it just depends on personalities,
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their upbringing, all that sort of stuff.
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Their childhood, what kind of childhood did they have?
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So you have to be able to read personalities.
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But I think it comes down to, you know, there
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tough, tough decisions need to be made
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and, and they suck. But there's just times, you know, I had a
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conversation with Sherman Pender Guards when he was fighting.
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He had fought in the UFC, didn't do great and he was,
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he kept fighting and I didn't want him to fight anymore.
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I brought him in my office and I said Sherman, you know, I can't coach anymore dude,
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you're gonna get hurt.
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Um you're getting hurt. I don't want to see this anymore.
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I don't see what happens down the road with your health
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because of this.
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And I said you continue to cut weight to get down to lower weight divisions.
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So to try and find a place where you're competitive and I said,
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I just don't want you to do that anymore.
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And he said, Pat, I'm not cutting weight,
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I have terminal cancer. Oh, I want to keep fighting until I die. My goodness.
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And so, you know,
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a conversation like that, I would have never found,
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he would have never told me that he had cancer
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until he went into the hospital to die otherwise,
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you know, so it's yeah, just tough conversations and stuff.
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And uh and you know, I moved away from coaching because I,
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I think
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that intense of a sport, it does do damage. You're burning the candle at both ends.
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It's that you're, you're either all in or you're getting people hurt.
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I mean, that's just the way it is. You're absolutely right. Yeah.
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So I burned the candle at both ends and
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coach very intensely and very dedicated for a
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long time doing law enforcement military training.
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I was working for three television networks. I was training fighters and,
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and I had two new girls to new daughters
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and for four years I was lamenting quitting coaching,
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which I was still pretty successful obviously, but
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you know, I was going to see my kids and so yeah, I had
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a broadcast with ESPN was when I was
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doing showtime ESPN and Mark Cuban's access tv stuff
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and we're in bristol Connecticut at ESPN. Uh
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I did a show there an episode,
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it was the last episode before christmas break and
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I was going to florida with my kids,
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my wife at the time and got the car service, brian stan did the show with me,
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you know who brian stan is?
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Of course, yes,
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I've got a lot of respect for that guy.
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So we get the car and I'm on the speaker phone with my daughters and I said,
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I'm looking forward to seeing you in the morning.
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I love to make them breakfast when I get back to town, you know, all that sort of stuff.
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And I said, okay, daddy love you. And we said goodbye.
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And brian stan looked at me and he goes, that's awesome.
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He goes, I've got two daughters as well.
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And he said,
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you know, I've killed a lot of people Pat.
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And he said every time in the middle of a firefight,
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explosions going off bullets bouncing off sq and rocks around me.
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I always wondered what life was all about. What was the meaning of life.
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And he said, I finally came to the conclusion that the best thing a man can do
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this raises kids the right way to get him up on the right foot like,
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that's that's what you do.
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Absolutely.
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And it was at that moment I looked,
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I was like God talking to me because I've
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been struggling for four years over this decision.
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I was like, God spoke directly to me through brian stand.
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I looked out the window of the car service.
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I looked away from brian
409
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because I had tears welling up in my eyes because it was at that moment
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that I retired from fighting and I called the fighters,
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had a meeting at the gym when I got back.
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I said I'm going on a two week vacation to florida with my kids and my life
413
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when I get back, I'm not touching it.
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So find a new team.
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That is amazing.
416
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Oh, that leads really well into our last question for you to pat,
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what is your biggest praise for God?
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I tell you what my biggest place for God is that I'm still alive.
419
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In fact I'm still alive. I've been through a lot, I've been through a lot.
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00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,660
Uh you know,
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I've had two brothers commit suicide because of uh because of abuse
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by the catholic church priests that abused them when they were little.
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They committed suicide when they were in their thirties.
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So I, you know,
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you can understand where I had a great
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deal of resentment and hatred towards organized religion,
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right?
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And through,
429
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through all of this stuff and through the hardships ships that I've been through and
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some by my own making some, some just out of my control
431
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um that I've just I've come to the point where
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00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,110
I just know jesus was real.
433
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I know he was who he said he was and I know this, he was, he guys think about this.
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He was the first conspiracy theorist.
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He was yes,
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right. Love it. He was anti religion.
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He turned over tables in the temple, he chased them out with tax collectors,
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you know, and they killed him for it.
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00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:05,050
And you know, and I'm, I'm sitting here. Why was I given the gift
440
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to see everything that's happening and everything that's happened.
441
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:13,160
I knew it was coming long before it happened. People wouldn't listen to me.
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00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,460
People think I'm crazy,
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you know, all kinds of stuff.
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I mean the things that I talk about, I tell them what's comin,
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I've told people was coming for years and I told him when it would start.
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00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,380
Yeah, they still call me crazy. Absolutely right.
447
00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:25,740
I
448
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-- love
-- It.
449
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well, Pat, that's all we've got. I appreciate you so much for taking time.
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00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,160
I know how busy you are. But this has been wonderful. I really enjoyed it.
451
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-- It's been amazing. Thank you pat.
-- Yeah, merry christmas,
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00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:46,920
this is an lbs production which stands for pounds.
453
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:47,970
I don't know if you knew that or not.
454
00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:53,160
But it also stands for laughing because we're saved, but we kind of like the pounds.
455
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:58,320
So um, chris will lift them and I will gain them and we will have a great time.
456
00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,170
Thanks for listening.
457
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:00,360
Mm hmm
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